Brouver Hoog, The Elder of Mahakam

....‘The old fart!’ Zoltan roared, and spat into the hearth of the furnace. ‘To look at him you wouldn't know if he was alive or stuffed. He almost never moves, which is just as well, because he farts every time he does. You can't understand a word he's saying because his beard and whiskers are stuck together with dried borsch. But he lords it over everyone and
everything, and everyone has to dance to his tune . .’